This Gumtree Ad Sold a Honda and Broke the Internet
If you’re posting a car on Gumtree and the response is crickets, maybe it’s not the car. Maybe it’s the copy. A great Gumtree ad isn’t only about the engine size and tyres. It’s about catching eyes. Turning browsers into buyers. Using tone. Playing with language. Owning your voice.
And sometimes, that voice comes straight outta the Cape Flats.
Like the Capetonian ou who, in 2013, listed his Honda Ballade in Kaaps. Kaaps, or Kaapse Afrikaans, is the everyday blend spoken in many Cape Town neighbourhoods, especially across the Cape Flats. It’s the language of the yard, the stoep, the shop on the corner. English meets Afrikaans with slang in between.
He didn’t bother polishing up his grammar. He pulled no punches. His words came with turbo power, like the custom engine he was punting. The ad reads like a voice note from your cousin — the one who always makes you laugh because he’s wild but somehow makes sense. The car became a legend before it even sold.
Below is the ad, which we slightly edited for readability.
Awe ma se kind! Have I got a car for you.
Check this bra.
Honda Balade. You’re probably thinking 1.5? Jissis f**k no, this isnt a lawn mower. 2.0L Turbo ek se, custom engine.
Don’t be afraid to red line. This engine klaps so loud my friend’s jewish granny thought the Brits were bombing east Germany again. Sound system for the nommers – check.
Bra did you even check the pictures? Those lights are so bright when you pull up behind someone at night they’ll think they’re in Steven Spielbergs Close Encounters Of A Fourth Kind.
Rims – check
Should I even say more? This thing klaps like a track horse on race day ek sê. Just call my uncle Bennie bru, no les.
Tinted windows so when you cut someone off they can’t get a look at you bra. Just a lekker Honda badge and exhaust fumes in their face.
Ample space for the brasse – check
This thing is sure to make the kinnis drop my bra. If you’re Coloured, I will throw in a Trevor Noah DVD I downloaded off Pirate Bay. Souties get a Coldplay CD.
All welcome! Give me a ring, ouens!
No negotiations, this isn’t 1994 ek se.
That’s how you do it. You don’t write about a car. You talk about it. Like it’s your best bru. Like it’s a memory on wheels. Like it’s got a story worth telling.
The ad didn’t last long online. But thanks to the legends who screenshot everything, it’s now part of South African internet history. And the Honda? Probably already making the kinnis turn their heads in Ottery.
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